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Pastafarian
Pastafarianism, the more common name for the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, is a religion whose followers--which include really cool people--believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. It DID create the universe, and midgets--like unicorns--are real. Beliefs Pastafarians claim that pirates are ideal beings, whose name was ruined by the catholic church in the 1800's. They believed that pirates in fact gave out candy to small children. Also, as a repercussion, their demise over the last few centuries has caused global warming. Though this may not be the absolute truth, it is a possibility not often looked at given that this theory best fit the data collected so far. Pirates existed before, and still exist today in the form of drug smugglers on speedboats. if you eat enough spaghetti you will be enlightened by the flying spaghetti monster and your penis will maximize to its full potential. The religion of Pastafarians was an idea created to give challenge to the idea of teaching Creationism in science courses within Kansas public schools. Also, You would be hard pressed to find a person whole-heartedly believing in the Flying Spaghetti Monster because the first holy law of Pastafarianism is having a sense of humor. Subsects A few extremist Pastafarians (a specific group called Porfons) believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is not one being, but three, and that the Pasta, the Meatballs, and the Holy Sauce, as they are called, are seperate beings. Other sects believed that Macaroni, and not Spaghetti, is the true form of the God of Pastafarianism. They refer to their creator as the Flying Macaroni Monster and they believe that the vision of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is corrupted by interference. The various sects often argue over the singularity vs. trinity of their God as well as its true form. The best thing about pastafarianism? It is not only acceptable, but advisable, to be heavily sauced. It is also believed that the monster would take sacrifices that were given at the top of a mountain in Guam where the sacrifices given were only honey-dew and locusts. One of the central teachings of the Reformed Pastafarian Church is that 50 to 1 is balanced. There is no greater gift that parents can give their children than the gift of faith in Pastafariansim. To give this gift, the best and indeed most balanced education should have for every 50 hours of religious instruction, praising FSM, one hour of criticism of heathen and heretical faiths, some atheist and agnostic bashing should also take place. Then the children will grow into well rounded young adults and they will see the truth in the Pastafarian Gospel. The other belief is that airport security checks are immoral. The Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster said when you are struck on one cheek you should turn the other one so that you may be struck on that one too. There is no higher authority than the FSM Himself. So when someone wants to attack you, you must let him and do not prevent him in any way what-so-ever. Airport security checks are an insult to the FSM and His word. See Also * Satan * The Baby Satan * Matrixism * Willy Wonka External Tubes * Pastafarian hometube